Scars of Time
by PinkBrideGoneBad
Summary: Tai left his sister in a park where she went missing and started cutting himself to escape the pain. Matt had an accident that made him cripple for the rest of his life and refuges himself in drugs. What if these 2 lonely souls meet? TAITO/YAOI
1. Where the wild roses grow

Hey everyone! This is the first fic I post here at FanFiction . net although it's not the first fic I ever wrote. This will be an angst filled drama about Tai and Matt (YAOI). Please read and review, the next chapters are almost finished but I'll only post them after I review them, which might not take too long, but please let me know what you think of the first chapter! :)

The story is TOTALLY based on Paolo Giordano's _"The Solitude of Prime Number"_ (highly recommended!), although I've made a few changes in the plot and the ending is going to be very different from the original story. Anyway, it's one of the best books I've ever read!

So let's get to what really matters... see you guys on the next chapter (hopefully!).

_**Disclaimer**_: _I do not own Digimon or any of it's characters, and I DO NOT own "The Solitude of Prime Numbers" by Paolo Giordano._

Chapter 1 – Where the wild roses grow.

The Yagami Family was just another typical Japanese family. Mr. Yagami was a successful businessman and a very dedicated father, Mrs. Yagami was a careful housewife and mother. Their main purpose in life was to make their kids happy, Taichi, the eldest, was six years old and Hikari, the youngest, was four years old.

Taichi was a very lively and smart boy, he was always very aware of every little thing that happened around him and was always on the move. He played soccer at school and the coach used to say he might one day be a big star. Since Tai was a little boy he's been healthy and strong.

On the other hand, his sister Hikari was very fragile and had such a precarious health, due to her premature birth. She spent several months in the hospital when she was a baby, but all the efforts to make her grow healthy weren't enough and she ended up with a heart insufficiency that deprived her from doing even the most normal physical activities such as running or swimming.

Tai knew his sister's fragile condition and was always very protective. When Kari went to the same school as him he used to spend all his break time hunting anyone who happened to be mocking his sister just because she had to stay sitting quiet while every one else was playing and running.

Hikari was very attached to her brother and just couldn't bear staying away from him even for one second, and everywhere Tai was there was Kari too.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

One day at school Tai's classmate Sora approached him while he was playing with a soccer ball. She stared at him for a moment and then started talking:

"Hey Tai"

"Hey", he answered happily, aiming a kick at the ball and sending to the exact spot between two little trees on the wall opposite them. Sora followed the ball with her eyes and then began to speak fast again.

"How are you doing?", and she didn't wait for an answer, "it's my birthday on Saturday, I'll be seven!" she seemed really proud of that. "I wanted you to come to my party" she stated at last.

"Saturday, your party" Tai repeated very slowly "all right then".

Sora smiled widely as she began to tell him the address. While she spoke rapidly, Tai observed a boy accross the courtyard push Hikari to the ground, he saw the teacher help her up and then scream harshly to the boy, taking him away from Kari. Tai decided to break the conversation with Sora so he could go and check if his sister was fine.

"Yeah, I know where your house is, it isn't far from mine", he was just about to leave the girl, when something else occurred to him "Sora, I might not be able to come to your party. You know my sister Hikari? Well she's sick and she gets worse when she's away from me. Maybe I'll have to stay home... with her" he sounded very upset and was staring at the floor.

Sora looked at him angrily and made an annoyed noise. Tai looked at her as if apologizing and started to walk towards his sister.

"You can tale _her_ if you need to" Sora said harshly before turning around and going away.

*-*-*-*

During the next week, all of Taichi's friends only seemed capable of talking about Sora's party. They were much too excited and Tai started to feel an incontrollable desire to go too. On Saturday, he approached his mother and innocently asked if he could go. When she said yes, he hurried to his room to find the best clothes and shoes.

It was evening and Tai was about to leave to Sora's house when he heard Kari whining. Every time he'd leave without her it was the same thing: she would cry, scream and whine, desperately asking her brother not leave her alone. Most of the times Tai ended up taking her along with him.

"You won't be alone my love!" Mr. Yagami said taking Kari in his arms and kissing her wet cheeks.

Tai ran towards the door while his dad was distracting Kari, but she soon realized he was leaving and started moaning again.

"Taichi why don't you take her with you, only for this time!" their mother said while looking painfully to Hikari, who was getting red from crying.

This time Taichi didn't want to take Hikari with him. All of his friends would be there playing all sorts of games, running, having fun. If he took his sister she would have to sit down and watch because she couldn't run, and then he would have to stay with her in order to keep her company. He pictured himself at the party without his sister playing with all of his friends, and then he pictured himself with her. He was screaming inside, desperate to leave his sister behind for once in his life, while Hikari was screaming aloud begging Tai to take her with him.

"Tai" his mother called softly, looking at him. Defeated, Taichi stretched his arms and took his little sister, he made her stand in front of him and took a firm grip on her hand.

"You have to promise you'll behave and do everything I tell you to" he said strictly, without looking at anyone.

"I promise" Kari said smiling widely and wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand.

Sora's house was less than 10 minutes far from the Yagami's so Tai went walking with Kari on his tail. He held her hand firmly to cross the main avenue and felt his stomach swirl with anger as he thought of all the fun he would miss at the party because of Kari.

As he crossed the avenue and arrived at Odaiba's Central Park, Kari started jumping happily and asked Tai to stop there so she could ride the slide. He said "no" sharplybut then something came to his mind and he stopped abruptly,causing Kari to collide with him.

"Yeah" he said thoughtfully, turning to his sister "You can go and ride the slide". He conducted her slowly to the large slide in the middle of the park and then watched as she rode on it shouting "yupie" loudly. He smirked and pulled her by the hand again, looking deeply into her eyes as he said: "You can stay here and slide as much as you want. Just make sure you ride it slowly and carefully so you won't get too tired, and when you do go sit there and rest waiting until I'm back, do you understand me?"

"But...." Kari didn't like the idea at all, she couldn't bear the thought of staying away from her big brother.

"Don't worry Kar" he said stroking her hair "I'll be back in half an hour, that's enough for you to play. You won't even miss me!"

"I don't want to stay!" she cried.

"Don't be silly! You promised you would do as I told you. Just stay here and wait for me right? And don't forget: slide carefully and when you get tired sit there and stay quiet. All right?"

The little girl looked at him with her big brown eyes identical to her brother's**, **and for the first time Taichi read fear printed in those eyes. But he was determined to enjoy Sora's birthday party as much as he could with no worries at all. Anyway, what could happen to Kari in a kid's park that she already knew so well that could be so bad? It would be just half an hour...

But half an hour passed and another and another while Tai played games with the other kids at Sora's house. He was having so much fun that he completely forgot about Kari alone in the park. Only when Sora's mom brought the cake and they all sang "happy birthday" Taichi remembered he had to go get Kari.

He hurried out of Sora's house to Odaiba's Central Park until he was out of breath but didn't stop until he got to his destination. It was almost dark already.

From across the street he could see that the park was empty and there was no one on the slide or anywhere else. The park was dark and solitary as it always got on cold autumn nights like that.

"Kari" he called aloud but with no courage to go and see if she was there. No answer. He tried again, this time stepping closer to the spot where he'd left his sister earlier. In this exact moment panic took over him in a ferocious way he had never experienced before, it took hold of his entire body and soul making his legs shake and tears burn his eyes blurring his vision. He ran through the park scrutinizing every corner of the place cautiously, he looked under the stone tables and behind the trees, he ran alongside the river that separated Odaiba's Central Park from the downtown and walked all the way back, but didn't find his sister anywhere. After what looked like several hours calling and getting no answer at all, he let himself fall to the ground at the edge of the river, crying desperately and shaking from head to toes, maybe because of the cold wind or maybe not...

"Kari" he called one more time with a faint voice that even he couldn't hear. He grasped the earth under his hands and started digging unconsciously. His right hand touched the sharp piece of a broken bottle and, without noticing, Tai grabbed the piece of glass firmly and started piercing his own hand with it. He didn't feel pain, not in his injured hand at least. But his head was aching and, more than anything at that moment, his conscience was aching violently, causing a fierce pain in his chest that he never thought it was possible for someone to feel.

* * *

Mr. Ishida was a methodical man, he liked everything to be done his way. Everyday at breakfast his wife served him a cup of tea while he read the news. Their children, for year-old Takeru and six year-old Yamato sat right in front of their parents and ate in silence every morning.

That day wasn't different. Yamato was sitting in front of his dad and looked at him apprehensively. He sipped his milk and felt it burn his tongue and throat.

"Are you done already?" his father asked without taking his eyes out of the news "it's time to go". Nancy, the mother, sipped her tea in silence and did not look at her husband or children.

Yamato made a grimace, still feeling the burn in his mouth, and then stood up. He drove himself to the bathroom and locked himself there. He sat on top of the toilet and rested his chin on his hands. He hated the fact that he had to go to ski classes every morning but he had no other option. His father believed that skiing was a dignified sport in which people learned how to, somehow, take advantage of great and unpredictable things like snow, and that's why he obliged his son to go and learn skiing as if he would be the next world champion. Unable to choose whether to go or not, Yamato went to the practices every morning against his will.

"Let's go or you'll be late again!" his father smashed the door making it tremble. Matt stickhis tongue out towards the door with a grimace and stood up next to the sink to brush his teeth. Afterwards, he put on the thick warm skiing clothes that made him unable to move properly and walked out of the house, without saying goodbye to his mom. He got in the car where his father was waiting and they left. "I might be able to put you on the next tournament", Mr. Ishida spoke with a cigarette in between his lips. Matt was trying hard not to heed what his father was saying and wasn't too hard.

Twenty or so minutes later he was at the ski track surrounded by other kids of his age and was walking towards the cableway line. The long way uphill always made him feel sick and he held his stomach firmly and pressed his lips together to avoid vomiting right there. When he climbed out of the little cableway seat he went looking for an empty spot where he could throw up without being seen, just as he did every time. The thick mist made it easier not to be spotted, and Matt didn't need to go very far to be out of everyone else's sight.

The instructor shouted instructions aloud to the group while Matt emptied his stomach on the snow. He hated the instructor just as much as he hated his father for making him be there every morning against his will. He heard the group moving farther away as he sent his breakfast outside, and he didn't feel like going with them. In fact that day he was feeling worse than ever and couldn't stop vomiting, maybe more because he was frightened then because of the hot milk he'd drunk earlier and was reverting in his stomach.

When Yamato got to stop throwing up he ran fast after the instructor and the rest of the group , but the thick mist didn't allow him to go much far, and he realized he wouldn't be able to find them. He stood still for a moment, he thought he might call someone aloud but knew nobody would hear him because of the whistling wind. He could barely distinguish the track he had already went down countless times before with the group but he thought he was capable of doing this alone this time so he could go back to the safety of the ground down there and hurry back home with some lame excuse. Anyway he didn't feel very well.

He got ready to go all the way downhill carefully, holding the sticks and putting on the protector goggles. He leaned himself forward and one last time he tried to spot one of his colleagues but saw nothing but white pale mist. He mentally counted to three and slid ahead. The cold air filled his lungs instantly when he opened his mouth in scare, it was the first time he went skiing all by himself. For a few minutes he thought it was rather easy and leant forward again to gain velocity.

"_Maybe I shouldn't go straight back home_" he thought, "_maybe I should walk around a little before going back. Dad will be furious if he knows I've missed practice_". He started thinking of good excuses to give his dad for being home earlier and the lamest stories filled up his mind slowly. But all of a sudden Matt had no time to think anymore or to stop or to scream: there was a sign "CLOSED TRACK" ahead of him and he went straight passed it. Before he could be aware of what had happened he was lying with his face pressed against the cold ground, it was hard to breathe because his nose was buried in the cold snow, one of his legs in a strange angle that made him feel like it was no longer part of his body. The cold covered him quickly and he couldn't move. He stick his tongue out in an attempt to prove himself that he still had control over his own body and the snow tasted good. He licked the snowy ground until his tongue was numb because of the cold. "_Maybe my body will never be found_" he thought with no fear or panic at all, "_maybe it will only be found after several months_". He heard a distant howl and shut his eyes closed tightly. Cold penetrated his skin until it reached his muscles, and as if he had no body Matt felt himself float in a white infinite sea, until everything got dark and he felt nothing.


	2. Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky

Hi everyone! Here's chapter two of "Scars of Time", I hope you enjoy it! ;)

I wanna thank you for the reviews, they made me wanna finish the second chapter faster and so I did! I also would like to say that English is not my first language, so please forgive me for any possible mistakes, I'm trying my best!

This chapter may seem a little meaningless, but it's essential to introduce the whole atmosphere that will be the scenery of the plot. Real action will start around the next two chapters and I promise I will do my best to upload the third chapter within next week, although I'm going back to work this week and my time to write will be shorter… Anyway, please keep reading and don't forget to review, I wanna know what you think!

_**Disclaimer**_: _I do not own Digimon or any of it's characters, and I DO NOT own "The Solitude of Prime Numbers" by Paolo Giordano._

Chapter 2 – Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky

_("You have your very own number  
They dress your cage in its nature  
Once you roared now you just grunt lame  
Pace around pathetic pound games  
Wanna get out won't miss you sensaround  
To carry your own dead to swing your tyre tricks  
Wanna get out in here you're bred dead quick  
For the outside,  
The small black flowers that grow in the sky")_

"You'll be late again!" yelled Mr. Ishida, smashing the bathroom door. It was the same thing everyday: Yamato would lock himself in the bathroom for several minutes after breakfast just to make his father annoyed. He stood in front of the mirror resting his hands on the sink , beholding his own reflection staring seriously back at him, a few hair locks of his golden blond hair naturally spiky were covering his deep blue eyes, that were usually opaque and cold. Matt thought his reflection made fun of him every morning by showing him the perfect face of a16 year-old boy and concealing the shameful flaw in one of his legs. Yamato looked at himself angrily, and when his father hit the door for the third time he exited the bathroom pulling his right leg, hard and heavy, after him.

Mr. Ishida was waiting in the car with a cigarette between his teeth. When Yamato entered the car, silent and dragging his bad leg, he started the car and they left to his son's school. Matt hated the way his father seemed so self confident, and every now and then he caught himself picturing absurd situations where his father would have some kind of accident that made him cripple too.

Ten years ago, short after the accident, Matt woke up one day and found only his father having breakfast in the kitchen, all alone. Since then, they never mentioned his mother and brother again, and he knew that partly she'd left because she didn't want to take the responsibility of having to take care of a cripple son, and he blamed his father for the accident and for his mother's departure. Mr. Ishida knew that somehow what had happened to his son was actually his fault, he sometimes even blamed himself entirely for the accident, but he never mentioned that aloud or apologized or showed any kind of remorse or compassion for Yamato's situation. Maybe that was the reason why the boy's rage against his father grew a bit more each day while Mr. Ishida drove him to school with his two perfect legs.

* * *

In the house of the Yagami family the light rarely entered the place. It was late in the morning but Taichi's mother still lay sleeping on the couch with her mouth slightly open, maybe still under the effect of the many pills she took every night so she could get some sleep. Tai sneaked through the kitchen with his usual silent steps, as if he wanted to avoid being noticed by anyone. He made breakfast by himself and served his father a cup of tea, sitting in front of him without even saying "good morning". Mr. Yagami didn't mind his son not speaking to him as long as he could have him in his sight.

Tai stirred the liquid inside his mug. The movement made several white and long scars on his hands glow in the faint light, some of them reaching his fists**, **some of them covering all his forearm. The boy stood up without having drunk his tea and said to his dad "I'll wait outside". Then he stormed off the kitchen going passed his mom in the living room with no courage to look at her.

Mr. Yagami breathed deeply and finished his breakfast in silence. Then he grabbed the car keys and went to give his wife a kiss on the cheek, who was already awake but kept silent and still.

"Are you excited about your first day at the new school?" he asked hopefully to his son who was already sitting in the car.

"Hummm" Taichi mutteredstaring ahead. He heard his father take another deep breath before starting the car.

Tai never showed any kind of emotion, he was always wearing a sad expression, his eyes empty and usually very shiny as if he was always in the verge of tears. His messy hair had several knots because he hardly ever combed it, and once in a while his mother would go mad over it and then cut it irregularly with an old scissor. Tai did not care, he would just wait for it to grow again and form new knots. He observed his hair in the mirror and then realized it was almost time that his mom would decide to cut it again, and with that thought he turned back to stare sternly through the window, his eyebrows arched almost together, his mouth shut as if it had been sewed and his forehead glued to the glass window. Mr. Yagami glanced at him and thought he didn't remember having seen a different expression on his son's face in the past ten years.

"Here we are" he said parking the car.

Taichi jumped out of the car holding his backpack and whispered a faint "goodbye" to his father before walking up the stone steps without looking back. He went to the notice board to see where his classroom was and then headed to the first floor. The wide rectangular room was still empty except for a blond boy sitting in the farthest corner of it by the window with his arms crossed over his chest and looking outside. Tai waited by the door until every seat in the room was taken and only one was left for him. The only empty desk that remained was the one right beside the blond haired boy in the back of the room. Tai held his breath and walked towards the empty seat, sitting down silently and staring at some indefinite point ahead. He didn't even notice when the boy on his side stared at him with contained curiosity.

*-*-*

Nobody ever sat beside Yamato in the classroom. Ever since he was a child his classmates made fun of him and called him names because of his bad leg, and he had learned not to approach anyone else and not allow anyone to approach him. But actually he felt like no one wanted to approach him, and he had long ago got used to the fact that he would be rejected for the rest of his life.

When the new boy sat beside him he couldn't help but wonder who the hell was that one who dared entering his one meter long diameter of solitude that no one else had ever bothered to occupy. He looked angrily at the boy and then the anger turned into curiosity and then into indifference.

The lecture went boring as always, Matt tried hard not to fall asleep while the teacher spoke about old books he would never mind reading. By his side, Taichi's hideous arm ran up and down his notebook writing every single word his ears would capture. At some point Matt lost the count of the strophes of a long baroque poetry and he started to follow Tai's arm running through the white paper, wondering what might have happened to him that made his hands look so awful. A strange sensation ran down his spine making him shrug and his bad leg move involuntarily, and he stayed there hypnotized by all those scars on the boy's arm.

Matt didn't use to leave the classroom at break except on times he couldn't pretend his stomach wasn't roaring anymore and then he would go the cafeteria to buy a sandwich that he'd eat all by himself in a hidden corner of the yard before returning hurriedly to the classroom to enjoy his solitude. That day of the new boy's arrival was one of those days, and although Matt tried hard to ignore his roaring stomach, the hunger took the best of him and he left the safety of his solitary seat to go to thecafeteria. He noticed the new boy hadn't left too and was still writing frantically on his notebook. Matt ignored him as well and left the room.

But there were a few people who were pretty hard to ignore even with all the efforts he made, and they were standing right in front of the entrance door. Four tall boys, one of them much bigger than the others, with large shoulders and tiny eyes, and although the others were smaller than him, they all seemed pretty cruel. Yamato knew them; they had attended the same classes ever since he went to that school, short after his accident. Those boys had ruthlessly made fun of Matt, torturing him with insults and bad taste jokes about his injured leg. Once, the biggest of them, Jango, caught him and stick him upside down in a bin, it took Matt almost an hour until someone found him and pulled him out. Nevertheless**, **physical aggressions had stopped at high school and revertedto only shouting and calling him names, which gave Matt some peace at last.

Yamato walked passed them on his way to the cafeteria and tried not look at any of them. Jango smiled when he saw the blond boy approaching and walked towards him. The other three followed him smiling retarded-like, one of them caressing his own knuckles.

"So, cripple, thought you might go out and exercise a little?" Jango said moving his lips strangely in what Matt presumed to be a smirk, "How's your leg doing?"

Matt didn't answer. He tried to ignore them and just keep walking, but his injured leg didn't allow him to be very quick and the four boys soon were standing right in front of him again, keeping him from going any further.

"What's the hurry cripple?" Jango stepped forward and Matt stepped back in response. One of the boys pushed him to the other and they pushed Matt from one to another for several minutes. He shut his eyes tightly and concentrated in cursing them mentally, once his bad leg made him incapable of being fast enough to defend himself.

The boys laughed aloud and all of a sudden stopped pushing Yamato, making him fall to the ground.

"You're just a useless fuck" Jango teased him smirking before going away with the other boys.

Matt waited until they were out of sight and stood up slowly and with much difficulty, leaning on his hands first and then pulling his leg. It had been a really long time since those boys last touched him at all, and he thought there must be a special reason why they decided to provoke him again. Standing up, Yamato shook the dust from his pants and shirt and then the bell rang. He took a deep breath, concluding that he would have no time to eat before his next class, and then made his way back to the classroom, aware that several pairs of eyes were staring at him, accompanied by quiet laughter and stupid jokes, and even some pitiful looks that were also indifferent enough not to approach him.

He returned silently to his desk by the window and grimragefuaced when his stomach roared again. He suffocated a rage scream that came to his throat and concentrated in mentally cursing everyone and everything until he calmed down. A few minutes later, when he seemed a lot calmer, he almost screamed aloud when a soft voice spoke near him.

"Excuse me?" said Yamato, turning to the boy on the seat beside him, who seemed to be speaking to him absentmindedly while staring at the board on the front of the class.

"Could you lend me your eraser please?" Taichi repeated slowly with the proper tone of voice for someone attending a burial. Matt blinked repeatedly as if to convince himself that the boy was indeed speaking to him. Then he grabbed his eraser and handed it to his neighbor. Tai held it with his dreadful hand and Matt observed him strollit on his notebook carefully, making the scars shine a little. When the same patched-like hand was stretched to hand him back the eraser, Yamato couldn't repress a strange impulse to speak to him.

"I am Ishida Yamato" he said mechanically, and then blushing a little he added "welcome to Odaiba High".

Taichi looked at him and also blinked several times, seeming confused. At first, he decided to ignore the other boy, but on the next second he felt a strong will to speak to him too, and they both shook hands timidly.

"Yagami" he said in the lowest tone of voice, and then a little louder he added "Taichi".

* * *

That's it guys, hope you enjoyed it! Tai and Matt have finally met each other and the next chapter will show the development of their friendship and then into something more… be patient with me please, I might take a while to post up the next chapter because I want it to be perfect, I might even post up chapters 3 and 4 at once if everything goes as I planned!

The song at the beginning is "Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky" by Manic Street Preachers.

Please review, it will take you less than a minute! ;)

XoXo


	3. Intravenous Agnostic

Hey people! Thank you so much for your reviews, I'm really gald you like this story! It really amuses me to write it and it makes me happy to know you're amused as well! Once again I'd like to apologize for the gramatical and spelling mistakes, English is not my first language but I'm doing my best, I revise every chapter a hundred times to make sure there are not many mistakes but still I believe there are!

I know I promised to post chapters 3 and 4 at once, but I haven't revised 4 yet so you'll have to wait a few more days... : /

Things get pretty hot in this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters... and I DO NOT own "The Solitude of Prime Numbers" by Paolo Giordano._

Chapter 3 – Intravenous Agnostic

_(...Nature failed me but then it made me [...]  
Dismayed - Dispossessed  
Life becomes calvanist__  
So sparkle and believe  
Linguistics die easily  
Intravenous Agnostic, Intravenous Agnostic, Intravenous)_

The days slowly went by and Yamato was growing more interested in finding out about the misteries that surrounded the silent boy and his scars. Both of them were isolated from everyone else and seemed to enjoy that.

Taichi did not mind when Yamato would stare at him full of curiosity, and in fact he was starting to feel slightly attracted to him, wondering what could have possibly have happened to his leg.

Not much of an effort was needed until they realized that for the first time in their lives they could build friendship, and the approach between them was unavoidable. Matt knew exactly how it felt to be lonesome andleft apart, and he thought that maybe Taichi was just feeling like that too.

They barely spoke to each other and Taichi hardly ever looked at Yamato, but everytime they were together they felt as if the emptiness that surrounded them was decreasing, whilst an inexplicable warmth ran through their bodies. The friendship that was growing between them seemed to be sustained by long silences in which they were capable of comforting each other for whatever it was that bothered them.

One day during a particularly boring Biology class, Yamato deconcentrated for the millionth time from the frog he was supposed to dissect and drove his attention to Taichi's awful hand working on his own frog. He followed every movement Tai made, and felt the curiosity burn his throat. When he finally stopped working on his frog, Matt couldn't refrainfrom asking:

"What happened to your arms?"

He regretted asking right away. Tai looked at him vaguely, focusing on something above his head, and making Matt believe he hadn't even heard what he'd said. The wild haired boy started working on his frog again, writing frantically on his notebook. Matt waited in silence for an answer, he expected that Tai would tell him to mind his own business or to fuck off, but instead, after several minutes of silence, he spoke clearly:

"Do you really wanna know what happened to my arms?", Yamato nodded andd held his breath waiting for the answer, "Then pay attention", Tai made a quick move and stucked the knife on the palm of his own hand, ripping it all the way to his wrist. Matt widened his eyes in shock and covered his mouth with his hands. That was the last time they ever mentioned the "scars thing".

*-*-*-*

Yamato used to go back home alone after school, but ever since he met Taichi they walked half the way together, with hardly no talk. At a certain point, Tai would turn left on the main avenue and Matt would keep going ahead. Matt always feared that at any moment after Tai left Jango and his friends would show up from nowhere, beating him to the ground just for fun. Nevertheless, it didn't happen.

In one cold Friady, Matt and Tai said goodbye at the avenue and the blond made his way home dragging his injured leg heavily at every step. He was aware of every movement behind him, afraid that Jango would come from a dark corner, welcoming him with a punch in the head. But once again there was no sign of him and his friends, and Matt just couldn't make up his mind whether he thought it was a good or a bad thing.

When he got home, Yamato hurried to make dinner before his dad arrived. He was fairly good with cooking, and it was one of the very few things that amused him. Dinner was soon ready and his father also didn't take long to get home. They sat in front of each other in silence and ate with no hurry at all. Mr. Ishida complained loudly about his work while he ate, spitting pieces of food as he spoke. Yamato hated when his father spoke about work, and let his thoughts fly away as the man kept on talking.

"What do you think, Yamato?", Mr. Ishida asked with his mouth full of food, but his son seemed to be totally alienated from the conversation. "Yamato!" he yelled and spat a piece of meat on the table, Matt looked at him, full of hate, without saying a word. "I asked", Mr. Ishida swalled and kept on talking "what do you think of practicing a sport. It's always good for a man to develop his physical abilities".

Matt arched an eyebrow and allowed his father to keep preaching about the advantages of practicing sports.

"What about Judo?" he spoke nonstop, "Judo is good. I have a friend who runs a gym nearby, you could go there and..."

"Nah, I don't like Judo" Yamato answered coldly to his father.

"What about Karate then? Or Kung-Fu... I think you should do some kind of fight".

"I'm not good with fights" the boy was starting to lose his patience with his father, and stood up clear the . Ishida held him by the arm and insisted that he would take him to the gym the next morning.

"You must be good at something!" he said as he stared sternly at his son, "A real man must be good on fighting!"

"Well, I am not!" Yamato yelled, curling his fists into balls, "I'll never be good at anything with this fucking leg, ever!"

Mr. Ishida opened and closed his mouth repeatedly a few times, but didn''t know what to say. After a few seconds, he stood up to look his son on the eye.

"I say you will practice fighting and this is it. I don't care if you're good or not."

"You obviously don't care, you never did!" Yamato grabbed an empty glass and smashed it in his hand, "You didn't care that I never wanted to ski, you didn't care if my mother and brother left us because of you... you don't care that you've ruined me forever, that I'm a fucking useless cripple unable to do anything right! YOU DON'T CARE THAT MY LIFE FUCKING SUCKS BECAUSE OF YOU!" he could see his father become gradually red as he spoke, and saw him sit down slowly, resting his head on his hands and shaking it furiously from one side to the other. Matt felt sick as he watched his father like that, and as his blood boiled inside his veins he ran out of the house, slamming the door when he passed.

He felt anger churn in his stomach, making him feel sicker. He stopped in a dark alley to throw up, then cleaned his mouth with the back of his hand and kept on walking without a destination. He couldn't tell for how long he had been wandering around, it seemed to him that he had left his house hours ago, and the night was already very cold when he thought it would be better to go back. Anger made his guts churn again as he imagined his father back home, working tirelessly on his laptop, and he wished he'd never have to go back to that place again. But his injured leg was already aching from walking and the cold was penetrating his bones, making his body shake.

Resigned, Yamato made his way back walking very slowly, pulling his heavy leg behind him. A few blocks from home, he heard an annoyingly familiar voice calling his name. He looked over his shoulder and felt desperate right away when he saw Jango and his troglodyte friends. Matt just wasn't fast enough to run from them, and within seconds they had already surrounded him.

"Why's Goldilocks crippling around here at this time?" Jango spoke sluggishly, with the most stupid smile Matt had ever seen. The other boys were also smiling stupidly, and Matt thought there was something weird abou the way they seemed to move and speak so slowly. He noticed the smoke of their cigarettes was very dense and had a sweet smell. He also noticed that the smaller of the four boys was holding his pockets as if he feared someone would steal what was inside of them. Matt looked aprehensively at him.

"Curious?" Jango asked holding that stupid smile. "Hey, Koumi! Why don't you show this lady what you got there?" Koumi shrugged and stepped back as the other boy, Ike, approached him smiling.

"C'mon Koumi!" said Ike, and he pulled Koumi closer to Matt, who allowing him to stare straight onto his bloodshot eyes. Ike took something from the inside of Koumi's pocket and handed it to Jango.

Jango smirked as he opened his hand to show Matt what he was holding, and the blond boy widened his eyes as he stared at it: a little plastic package containing some sort of powder and a syringe.

"You see this, little cripple?" Jango spoke as he and his friends stepped closer to Matt, "This stuff is for real man only, and you, of course, are not one." Everyone laughed loudly. Jango took one step forward and grabbed the collar of Matt's shirt, the smell of weed in his breath penetrated Matt's nostrils right away. "Real man fight" he whispered. It immediately reminded Yamato of his father, who had made that same speech hours ago; he felt anger burn his stomach again and his blood run faster in his veins; he could distinguish in Jango's eyes the same glimmer of self-pride he saw in his father's earlier when he spoke about the honor of knowing how to fight. At this very moment, a violent fury took over his entire body, Yamato gathered a strange courage within himself and pushed Jango away. The boy stumbled and almost fell, but quickly stabilizedagain, at the same time three pairs of hands grabbed Matt's arms and neck.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Jango shouted, walking straight towards Matt, "You wanna fight me? Then show me what you got!"

"I can fight you!" Yamato shouted back as he struggled to get rid of the other boy's grip.

"Then come and show me!" Jango hit his own chest with his fists like a gorilla. "Let's see how much of a man you can be!"

"Much more than you are!" at those words Jango made a quick movement with his head and the boys let go of Yamato. Jango threw himself at him and they both fell to the floor, hitting every milimeter of each other's body they could reach.

Matt didn't know why, but Jango's movements seemed way too slow, and he had time enough to reunite all his strenght on his right arm and punch the boy's nose heavily, making him roar loudly in pain.

Jango fell aside, screaming and holding his nose with both hands, red thick blood was dripping through his fingers. Koumi kneeled down beside him and Ike and Lee left Yamato by the collar again, pressing him brutaly against the wall. Ike raised his fist and aimed a punch on Matt's face, but he missed it when Koumi grabbed his arm and pulled him down.

"He's fucking bleeding man! We gotta take him to the fucking hospital!"

Lee threw Matt to the ground violently and spat at him before joining Koumi and Ike to carry Jango. Before the four of them were gone, Matt got to see the damage he'd caused, and his guts churned at the thought of what they would do for revenge.

He felt terribly sick again, all the anger regarding his father was lying annoyingly in his mind, his blood was running fast, and Jango's words echoed in his ears _"This stuff is for real man only, and you, of course, are not one... Real man fight!"_

Yamato hit the ground in anger, but regretted right away as he felt his knuckles ache. It was just then that he realized something was lying on the pavement near him. It was the drug Jango had showed him before. A faint voice inside his head told him to turn away and go back home quickly, but the increased anger in his chest made him grab the stuff and run to the first dark alley he found.

"Stuff for man..." Yamato murmured to himself, staring at the powder wrapped in plastic, "I am a real man!"

Somehow, Matt knew exactly how to do it. He took an empty can someone had thrown on the ground and cut the bottom of it with a little pocket-knife he carried with him. He placed the powder on the can bottom and used an old lighter he also found on the floor to dissolve it. When the powder had turned into liquid, he pulled it with the syringe Jango had left behind, and using his own belt as a tourniquet, he injected the drug in his vein.

At the exact moment the needle pierced his arm he felt the liquid spreading throughout his body, along with a strange sensation of relaxation. It didn't took long before he could feel the effect, his muscles relaxed and his mind was emptied. All the anger and hate he felt moments ago now was softened, what seemed to be big problems no longer made sense, nothing could take that peace away from him at the moment. He thought that was the best sensation he'd ever experienced in his life.

*-*-*-*

Taichi's mother started taking the plates out of the table, apparently not noticing that her husband and son hadn't finished eating. Tai offered to do the dishes, but his mother shook her head frantically and told him to go out of her sight.

He went to his room and grabbed a random book from the shelf. As he read it, his thoughts often wandered back to the classroom where he sat beside Yamato. Tai was starting to notice that he was thinking too much of the other boy, but he assumed it to be because he was his only friend.

Studying distracted Taichi. He had been enjoying the peace and silence of his bedroom for almost an hour when he heard his mother's voice coming from the kitchen, accompanied by a loud sigh. Tai cared too much aboout his mother, although he had long ago given up on trying to obtain any demonstration of affection from her. Concerned, he made his way silently to the kitchen's door, that was ajar. He stood there silent, listening to his parents arguing.

"I think you worry too much for nothing", his father said, but his look and his tone of voice made it clear that he was lying.

"For nothing?" his mom said with a faint voice, widening her eyes. "He spents all the day locked in that room, he barely speaks to us, teachers say he has the best grades in school but he has no friends, he doesn't relate to anyone his age!"

"The boy enjoys studying mora then anything else, that's all!"

"A sixteen year-old boy should enjoy parties and girls!"

"You can't tell if doesn't like girls..."

"I'm not saying I think he's gay! I even wish it would be that, maybe it would be less preoccupant..."

"Don't say such things! You underestimate Taichi, he's much more than just a brain full of information!"

"He's too much for me to handle! He scares me", she sighed heavily again, "he's all that's left for us now, and... oh, god! I only wish he was..." her voice failed and another sigh escaped from her mouth, but the sound was muffled and Tai saw his father embrace her with his long arms, and she surprinsingly embraced him back. "I only wish he was normal" she said at last. They stood there holding each other, Tai could not tell for how long. His mouth had run dry and he seemed incapable of speaking for a few minutes, but he quickly recovered. He opened the kitchen's door with a loud noise, his parents stared at him in shock, both wondering for how long he had been there.

"I have friends" Tai said simply, "I'm going out with one of them now." then he left with no hurry at all. After he'd passed the front gate, he ran as fast as he could, until he ran out of breath, towards God-knows-where.

*-*-*-*

Yamato just stayed were he was, enjoying that sensation of unshakable peace for an undetermined time, until something in the back of his mind started to wake him up from that stupor, he slowly regained consciousness that he was supposed to be back home hours ago. Against his will he stood up, leaning on the wall, and several minutes were necessary until he realized where he was and which way he had to go. He began to walk, but stumbled at every step. It hadn't been five minutes since he'd started walking when he ran onto someone. The opacity of his thoughts didn't allow him to recognise that face right away, but the voice he heard was rather familiar not be recognised.

"Yamato?"

Matt looked at the figure in front of him and layed his eyes on an arm full of long scars. The raised lines on that arm were unmistakable.

"Taichi!" Matt whispered, and Tai smirked timidly. They quickly glanced at each other, both trying unsuccessfully not to show how unpleasent it was to meet the other at that moment. After a moment of embarrassing silence, Taichi mumbled an excuse to keep walking around.

"Yeah, I guess I'll get going too..." was Matt's answer. He took one step away from the wall he was leaning on, but his brain seemed rather incapable of synchronizing with his body, his legs failed to sustain him and he fell to the floor.

Taichi observed him one step away from him. When he realized his friend wasn't going to get up on his own, he decided to lend him a helping hand.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he helped Yamato get up. The boy nodded. Tai looked at him and realized he must be feeling terribly bad. "I'm going this way too... I can walk you home if you don't mind."

Yamato didn't say yes, but also didn't say no. He allowed Tai to grab his arm and leaned on him, feeling the warmth of his body very close to his own.

They walked in silence, Tai still holding his friend's arm. At one point Matt almost fell again, and this time Tai grabbed his hand firmly. Matt could sense the scars on that hand and had an urge to caress it; he entwined his fingers with Taichi's.

At Yamato's doorway, Tai made an attempt to let go of the other's hand, but the sensation it caused on his own made him hold it tighter instead. They stood there holding hands, not looking at each other, wishing that sensation would never end.

For the very first time, Tai looked properly at Yamato and was surprised to see how beautiful his deep blue eyes were. He wished he could touch the boy's soft skin, he bit his own lip when he laid his eyes on the other's lips, slightly red and wet.

Matt wasn't looking at Tai, but he could feel his eyes scanning him. His cheeks became red when he noticed the boy was staring at his mouth, he suddenly raised his eyes, meeting Tai's, shiny and brown. Matt held his hand even tighter and uncounsciously stepped closer to him.

Taichi felt his heart pounding heavily against his chest. They both looked intensely at each other's eyes, the distance between them was getting shorter, they could feel their breaths on their necks...

A cold breeze sent shivers down Tai's spine, or maybe it wasn't the breeze at all, but he seemed to wake up at that moment and broke the eye contact with Yamato, stepping back and letting go of his hand. Another embarrassing silence floated between them before Tai spoke something.

"Well... then, I guess... I'm leaving."

"Yeah, ok..." Yamato observed the boy turn around and walk rapidly, then he added a little louder so Tai could hear him: "thanks... for keeping me company."

The boy looked back and smiled weakly, then turned around again and made his way back home, with his heart still drumming in his chest and his cheeks still burning. Never before had he been so close to someone else, and for the first time in his life he felt he had to try that porximty again.

* * *

Well this was chapter 3, hope you liked it! ^^

I've made a huge research about drugs (heroin to be more precise) before I wrote this, I wanted to make Matt's first contact with drugs as real as possible... I know there are still flaws, but that was the best I could do to make everything fit in a way it didn't seem too fake...  
The song at the beginning is "Intravenous Agnostic" by Manic Street Preachers (you should listen to them! :P).

I promise I'll do my best to update the next chapter on the weekend, but I can't say for sure... anyway **please** review, your reviews keep me motivated!  
See ya!  
xoxo


	4. Chapter 4 Solitude Sometimes Is

hey everyone! Sooo sorry for the delay, I've been truly busy lately, work and uni are consuming all my time! I'm not gonna say much here, this chapter was supposed to be much longer but due to my lack of time I decided to make it a little shorter than expected but yet have something posted than have nothing posted for another 2 months... I really hope you enjoy it anyway, don't forget to review, your reviews make me happy! Forgive my spelling and grammar mistakes, I actually didn't revise it before posting it up...

Chapter 4 – Solitude Sometimes Is The Place I'd Like To Live

_(Solitude sometimes is the place that I would like to live  
Solitude sometimes is when nothing really seems to fit  
If black were truly black not grey  
It might provide some depth to pray  
To black out all the worlds of men  
And demons too, but not even then  
Solitude sometimes is life that no longer exists  
Solitude sometimes is  
When there's nothing left to give) _

Taichi was nervous when he got out of his dad's car at the school's doorway on Monday. He hadn't spoken to Yamato since last Friday night when that weird episode occurred, and he had no idea how he would face him now. The truth is that he had spent the whole weekend thinking of his friend and what would have happened if he hadn't left in one particular moment...

He walked slowly and silently to his classroom which luckily was still empty. He took his place at the back of the room and waited patiently for Yamato to show up. The desks around him were taken one by one, and when the bell finally rang Matt still hadn't shown up to take his place by the window. Tai wondered what could have happened to him that made him late for class, but when at the third period he still wasn't there, he started to believe there was a special reason why he hadn't gone to school. He suddenly remembered how sick Matt looked the last time they met.

*-*-*

Yamato had no intention to go to school since the time he got up from bed that morning. He was late on purpose, and when his angry dad left him at school half an hour later than usual, he waited until the car disappeared on the avenue and started running at the opposite direction. He turned left on a corner and kept running through the next blocks, until he believed to be far enough not to be found, and then slowed his pace, regaining his breath.

He wasn't sure why he was so scared to go to school, he thought it was the fear of meeting Jango after having broken his nose, but he also felt his stomach churn when he thought of the idea of meeting Taichi... He had tried hard to ignore the sensation the memory of him brought, but during the past two days it took over his mind completely.

Matt stopped walking when he arrived at Odaiba Central Park, considering it would be the perfect place to spend the long hours he was supposed to be at school. He sat on one of the stone banks and closed his eyes, surrendering to the memory of the sensation Taichi's hand had caused on his own. He stayed in that trance for long minutes before a violent bashing on the back of his head made him fall with his face on the ground. A giant foot smashed his head against the soft earth making him choke. He stretched his arms and legs desperately trying to get up to take some air, but the foot pressed him more violently against the ground. Matt could hear loud laughter around him, and in the back of his mind he knew to whom it belonged to. He tried every possible way to get rid of the enormous foot that smashed his head but soon other pairs feet reached his body, kicking him hard on the belly and back, at one moment someone hit his injured leg.

Yamato couldn't tell how long that torture lasted, he soon got dizzy with the lack of breathable air and slowly let his consciousness leave his mind. He woke up with the sound of laughter around him, the brightness of the Sun directly on his face made him temporarily blind until his eyes got used to the light. He felt every part of his body aching terribly, and it took him several minutes to find the strength to sit and look up to the boys surrounding him. He wasn't wrong, it was Jango and his group.

Jango approached him with his blackened and swollen nose, and keeled down to look Matt in the eyes.

"You fucked me off you know" his tune was dangerously calm. "Take a look at what you did to me you little fag." He grabbed Matt by the collar of his shirt and got up, making him stand in front of him, he then pushed the blond towards a tree. Matt didn't know what to do: if he ran Jango would certainly get him, if he stayed he would be beaten to the ground anyway. He had no time to think nevertheless, Jango quickly approached him and punched him straight in the face; Matt fell off again, his hands covering his face. Before loud laughters filled Matt's ears once more, Jango kicked him several times again, while the others watched in awe.

After a long time hitting Matt on every possible part of his body, Jango said: "I guess I've had enough fun with this creep, let's get outta here."

The four left, laughing aloud, his voices dimming as they moved farther. When Matt couldn't hear them anymore, he decided to stand up.

Blood covered his face, all his body was aching, his hands were shaking and his head was pounding. He touched his own face and concluded relieved that his nose wasn't broken, despite the strength of Jango's punch. He stood up with difficulty, his injured leg was still and hurt desperately. Resigned and with no other option, Yamato slowly started to make his way back home.

He hadn't taken ten steps yet when he heard a familiar voice beside him. Terrified, he looked over his shoulder to see Koumi leaning on the wall right next to him.

"I know what you need now" he said. Matt looked at him with a raging anger. He had no idea what Koumi was talking about until he took from his pocket a little package that Matt recognized as the same drug he had taken two days ago. Matt stretched his hand instinctively to grab the heroin, but Koumi stepped back.

"You have to pay for it" he said.

"I'll pay" Matt replied promptly. He remembered clearly of the sensations that drug had caused on him and he was sure it was all he needed at that moment, to relief the pain and rage he felt. He grabbed all the money in his pockets and handed it to Koumi, who gave the heroin right away.

"You're gonna need this" Koumi said handing a syringe to Matt. The blond had no idea why Koumi was doing that but he didn't care, all he wanted was to be able to enjoy the peace of mind that drug could bring to him. "Don't tell anyone where you got it from" Koumi said threateningly, and Matt knew he was referring to Jango, Lee and Ike.

"Can you get me some more?" Matt asked, but Koumi didn't bother answering, he kicked the boy's ankle and walked away. Yamato cursed him aloud expecting he would turn around to fight, a weird anger raging in his stomach again, making him feel as capable of beating people to the ground as Koumi or Jango. But Koumi didn't turn around to respond to the offense.

Yamato took his way back home again, knowing his father would only get home at the end of the day anyway...

*-*-*

Taichi just couldn't concentrate in class that day. His thoughts wandered somewhere far from the school walls, imagining where the hell would Yamato be, or sometimes reliving that magical moment at his doorway two days ago. Tai grew more nervous every hour that passed, as he absentmindedly used the razor of his sharpener to scratch the palm of his own hand.

When the bell rang at the end of the day, Tai quickly ran out of school, taking the way he knew would lead to Matt's place. Something insisted in telling him he would only feel calmer when he finally met his friend.

As soon as he arrived at Yamato's doorway his feet seemed to falter and he took a second thought whether he should knock or not. But the feeling that he needed to talk to Matt was still strong, so he took a deep breath and rang the bell in a quick move. He waited, but nobody answered. When after five whole minutes he still couldn't distinguishany sound coming from the inside of the house, he concluded that there was nobody home and decided to leave. But as he turned away to walk down the stone steps, he heard the door open behind him. He looked back and stared straight in Matt's eyes, his timid smile became a grimace of shock as he approached his friend.

"What the hell happened to you?!" Tai asked looking open-mouthed to the several bruises on Matt's face and bare chest, before his eyes met his friend's, bloodshot and out of focus, making him look like a living dead.

Yamato did not answer right away, he stepped aside and made a gesture that indicated Tai should get in the house. Tai followed him to his room , noticing there was not one light on at the house although the sun was already setting and darkness was starting to take over the place.

Matt entered his bedroom, sat on his bed and leaned his head on his hands. Tai searched for the switchto turn the light on, then he sat on the bed beside his friend. He wanted so badly to touch him, but he didn't have the guts to get nearer, so he simply asked again what had happened.

"Jango" Matt answered with a shiver. Tai didn't need to ask more; at their first day of class he'd seen from the classroom window Jango and his friends beat Matt down, so he could only conclude that they were the responsible for all that shit going on with Matt.

"You didn't come to class today. I was worried, I wanted to know why..."

"Now you know why" Yamato answered rudely. He didn't feel like talking about what had happened, the heroin effects were almost worn off and the pain all over his body had come back with double intensity.

Tai backed down at his friend's bitter answer, and believed he had done wrong in going to look for him, so he got up quickly and headed to the door intending to go away. At the same time they heard the sound of a car coming from outside and Matt also got up quickly.

"My father" he said grabbing Tai's arm firmly, "you must leave now."

"Ok." Tai walked away from Matt's grip, quickly getting out of his room. Matt pointed the back door in the kitchen and Tai obeyed without hesitating.

"You gonna be alright?" Matt asked before Tai had left the doorway. The brunette looked languidly at him and nodded, then turned around and started to walk towards the street.

Meanwhile, Mr. Ishida was entering the house through the front door making a big noise and speaking really loud.

"Is dinner ready Yamato? I'm starving!"

Matt observed his father enter the kitchen. He was slightly conscious that his bare chest presented several black-greenish bruises as well as his face, and his trousers were full of blood stains and dirt. It tool Mr. Ishida's mind a moment to register his son's monstrous image.

"What the _hell _happened to you?" he approached the boy slowly with a grimace of disgust on his face as if whatever it was that Matt had could be contagious.

"It's not of your fucking business!" Yamato answered angrily. He wondered why the fuck he felt so ferocious and brave in front of his father but had no courage to face Jango and his friends. He obviously wasn't able to find the answer. Before Mr. Ishida could get closer, Yamato left the kitchen and locked himself in the bathroom, wishing badly to have more heroin to relief the pain again as he had done earlier.

"_I'm definitely a coward"_, he thought. With no courage to go out and face his father's questions, he spent the whole night locked in the bathroom.

* * *

So that's it, Matt is getting into the world of drugs, do you think Tai's gonna be able to help him out? Find out on the next chapter (hopefully soon!)

I SWEAR our dearest couple is gonna be together on chap 5, the scene is going to be really cute so I must write it when I have plenty of time to dedicate to it!!

**Please review** and make me happy!! XoXo.


	5. My Little Empire

Heya guys, sorry bout the delay but finally here's another chapter of Scars of Time! Before you start, I just wanna say thanks a lot to everyone who has been reading and commenting! Comments make me happy and make me wanna write more, so please review!

Not gonna say much more, hope you enjoy it.

_**Reminder: **_The story is TOTALLY based on Paolo Giordano's _"The Solitude of Prime Numbers"_

_**Disclaimer**_: _I do not own Digimon or any of it's characters, and I DO NOT own "The Solitude of Prime Numbers" by Paolo Giordano._

Chap. 5 – My Little Empire.

_(My little empire, I'm sick of being sick, I'm tired  
of being tired, I'm bored of being bored, I'm happy being sad.  
All of my sins are attempts to fill the voids, all of my voids  
They are filled with sins, all of my demons they are kept within  
and all of my violence it does not exist.  
My little empire, I'm  
fucked with being fucked, I'm done with being  
dumb, in my little empire I'm happy being sad. )_

That week seemed to be passing much slower than the usual. Tai and Matt had unconsciously agreed not to mention what had happened on Monday, and went back to their usual apathy, with long silences between them. It seemed like the friendship they'd been developing in the last few months was now receding to the initial point, and Yamato wasn't open to rapprochement, in fact, he seemed to be getting further away from Taichi without noticing it.

There was yet another thing that was repelling them away from each other. For some bizarre and unknown reason, Matt started to approach Koumi, and Tai just couldn't figure out why. It was really weird that, even after being beaten several times by Koumi and his friends, Yamato still wanted to be friends with him.

It didn't take Jango, Ike and Lee too long to acknowledge what was going on though. But contrary to what Koumi or Yamato could have imagined, Jango saw in that a benefit rather bigger than keep making a punching bag out of Matt. So, from then on, they took turns to get Matt some heroin and charged him with a price much higher than they had paid, taking advantage of the situation and keeping the profit for themselves.

That went on for a long time, and it was more evident every day, at least for Tai, that Matt was becoming an addict and that he needed the drug to make it through the day; his behavior had changed from an inconspicuous coldness and a fakely contained rage to an almost sick apathy. Not a long time passed until Matt was sure that Tai had already realized exactly what was the reason behind his drastic change, but he believed his friend was only pretending not know for fear that Matt would get definitely away from him if questioned.

On the other hand, Tai was also surrendering to self-destructive habits to get pain away. He was back to cutting himself constantly, and new long scars appeared on his arms and hands before anyone could realize what he was doing. While Matt was using heroin to escape his frustrating reality, Tai cut himself because that was the way he found to bring out the pain he kept inside. Doing that was his more desperate attempt to diminish the pain in his consciousness by hurting his physical.

Taichi's father was far more quick to notice there was something wrong with his son than Mr. Ishida, who was completely absent. Mr. Yagami tried hard to discover what was tormenting Tai in such a way that made him cut himself hardly again, but the boy was much too good at hiding his feelings, he locked himself inside that solitary world of his, in which only Yamato was allowed to enter, and all his father could glimpse from that world were the deep scars on Tai's arms, and his languid expression become sadder every day.

A few months had passed and neither Matt nor Tai were able to get out of the hole in which they had fallen together. As Yamato had lost weight and looked more unable to distinguish reality from illusion, Tai had also become much more pale, maybe due to the loss of blood he suffered every time he cut himself, there were also big purple eye circles under his eyes due to the nights he spent wide awake, and he looked far more displaced than usual, surrounding Yamato every time he was allowed, but then both would keep quiet and visibly bothered by each other's presence.

It was a Friday morning, the very last day of class of the term, and it was very quiet and calm as the students made their final tests. Near the end of the first period, the principal of the school entered the classroom with a serious expression, causing discomfort among the students. He waited until every student had noticed his presence, on by one, and then started to speak with his funeral voice.

"I came here to bring you two unpleasant news today." Everyone looked at him with curiosity and fear, but politely waited for him to speak. "Unfortunately, I must inform you that one of your classmates passed away last night."

There was a general fuss, people were turning to talk to their friends, sighs of surprise and incredulity could be heard, but with one gesture the principal silenced them again.

"Koumi Tanaki passed away last night after an overdose of heroin."

This time silence was kept, everyone looked open mouthed to the principal as he slowly narrated what had happened to Koumi. A few people exchanged commentaries and horrified looks when he ceased speaking; Yamato stiffened on the chair, still as a rock, with hacking breathing as if he had just ran several kilometers.

"The other new I bring" the principal went on, "is that another classmate of yours, Jango Naoki, was arrested, also last night, for drug traffic."

There was a new fuss among students. Yamato was shaking so hardly that the chair he was sitting on was scratching the floor, but no one except for Taichi seemed to have noticed. The principal began a new speech, this time about the damages that drugs can cause, citing fatalistic and random cases, apparently not very worried that a 16 year old student had just died and another one had been busted .

Tai could feel Matt grow tenser at every word the principal said, and he ended up entering that wave of flutter too, grabbing a sharp piece of iron from a broken desk beside him and holding it firmly until he had pierced his own hand.

The principal's speech ended with a vacant "keep away from drugs", and then he left the classroom obviously less preoccupied, as if he had just gotten rid of a heavy toll.

No one was able to concentrate on their tests after that, and it was with an immense relief that they welcomed the ring of the school bell, indicating they were finally freed from school. Yamato hurried out of class, silent and tense, he ran past several students and went down the stair, two steps at a time, vanishing among the crowd that was clustering around the exit. Taichi tried to reach his friend, but was prevented by the crowd trying to get out of school to enjoy the freedom of summer vacation.

Matt entered a bathroom and threw his backpack to the dirty wet floor, he leaned his hands on a sink with his head down and his eyes shut tight. His head was aching terribly and he knew the only way to calm himself would be by shooting some heroin into his veins, but somehow that possibility was scaring him. His body and mind were fighting each other, his stiff muscles were screaming for quick relief but his head was telling him not to do what he wanted to. He washed his face with the cold water and raised his head slowly until he could face his own eyes in the mirror. The image Matt saw reflected displeased him greatly; that was the first time in a long time that he actually looked at himself, and he suddenly realized how thin and pale he looked. Once more he felt a monstrous rage take over him, a rage against himself and all the coward attitudes he had taken until then. Tears burned the corner of Matt's eyes and he tried to prevent them from falling, but in vain. He almost could hear his mind working, the conflict between "doing" or "not doing" was causing his head to ache even more, he was about to have a nervous breakdown. In an uncontrollable impulse of anger and frustration, Matt punched the mirror with a loud roar, shattering it into several little pieces that fell onto the ground. At that moment, he felt weak and defeated, and let himself fall onto the floor among the pieces of broken mirror, accidentally leaning his hand on one sharp piece. When he felt it piercing his skin, he soon draw his hand back, but then a sick thought took over his mind. After a few minutes of inner conflict, he concluded that he must find other ways to take away the pain, for he wasn't willing to take the risks of heroin anymore. So then, thinking of Taichi and of how he'd suffered in silence beside him, Matt decided he wanted to know how his friend felt; he grabbed the piece of mirror and held it firmly.

Tai only got to go down the stairs ten minutes after the bell had rang, when the crowd had already dispersed. He wasn't surprised when he didn't find Yamato anywhere on the school grounds, he wasn't expecting to find him anyway.

Not willing to face the sun outside burning his head on his way back home, Tai decided to wait hidden in the bathroom until the sun had set, so he could walk home tranquilly, but as soon as he entered the bathroom, he saw the most unexpected scene. Yamato, with his face stained by tears, was sitting on the bathroom floor among several pieces of what was once a mirror, holding in his bloodred hand a particularly sharp piece so firmly that it looked like he was trying to make it penetrate his own hand until it was a part of it.

When he saw Taichi standing at the doorway, looking at him full of incredulity, Matt faltered on the middle of trying to pierce his hand and started crying desperately again. Tai approached his friend and tapped his back weakly. After a few minutes, Matt finally managed to stop crying and raised his head to face Taichi.

"I got scared!" he was shaking from head to thumbs, "I wanted to know how you feel" he said with a faint voice, new tears were trying to make their way out of those deep blue eyes, but Matt contained them with some effort, "I don't know what to do... I can't go on Tai, I just can't do it anymore..."

"I know" Taichi said in a whisper. It was just then that they both realized that, even after all those moths fallen apart from each other, they were still meant to be together. One didn't have to speak so the other could know how he felt, the understanding between them was beyond that. At that moment, Tai also knew that he had regained the only friend he had ever had, and he knew he was capable of doing _anything _not to lose him again.

Two years had passed, and Taichi and Yamato were more united than ever.

Taichi was studying Literature at the University, and he was one of the most intelligent and dedicated students of his class. He was still the same pale skinned boy whose arms were full of dreadful scars, but he seemed a little less sad now. He hadn't been cutting himself for a long time, and the painful guilt that had haunted him all his life seemed to be diminishing slow and gradually, as he found in Yamato his source of comfort.

Yamato had also changed a lot, he hadn't used drugs since that fatalistic last day of class two years ago, and had recovered his health successfully. Away from the school bullies who had tormented him because of his injured leg, he found out that people didn't actually care whether he was a cripple or not, and because of that, he'd become a much more sociable person, encouraging Taichi to do the same. They completed each other; Tai was fearful, but Matt had the power of will, and so both of them made it throughout their lives, supporting each other and knowing they would never ever be alone again.

Matt hadn't gone to the university like Tai, he was now working on a music shop to help his father paying the house bills. It was a common thing that he went to Taichi's house at the end of the day or vice-versa just to spend long hours sitting beside each other, Matt playing his guitar while Tai would read some complex uni book. In one Friday evening, Tai showed up at the doorway of the store where Matt worked just a few minutes before he would get out. He observed his blond friend describing passionately a Les Paul guitar to a customer; he waited until the last customer had left the store and Matt came out, so they could go home together.

"Thought you'd stay late in uni today" Matt said when he met Tai at the doorway.

"I didn't" the brunette answered, "my teacher's sick."

"Good for you."

"Yeah, maybe" Taichi answered vacantly.

"Let's go to my house today" Matt said when they arrived at the main avenue, taking the path of the left instead of the right. Tai followed him, walking a little slower to keep up with the arrhythmic pace of his friend who was dragging the injured leg behind him.

In a few minutes they were already in Yamato's room. As usual, Tai threw himself on a soft chair and grabbed a big book from his backpack. But Matt didn't stretch himself on his bed, streaming his guitar, as he always did. He searched a few boxes inside the wardrobe but didn't seem to find what he wanted there, he put them back and then left the room hurriedly and in silence.

Tai observed intrigued his friend come back into the room a few minutes later, with and old Pollaroid camera on his hands.

"I've been thinking" Matt said with an unusual excitement, "you could take some shots of me while I play guitar, and then we could post the pics up on the internet to make an announcement of my playing. I was thinking that I might play... for an... audience... just maybe" he blushed a little as he admitted he wanted to play live for other people. Tai looked at him a little surprised.

"And how do you intend to do that?" he said, "The pictures, I mean. With such an old camera."

"Oh yeah. I've been saving money but it's still not enough to buy a new one. I just thought that meanwhile you could practice with this one, so when the new one arrives you'll know how to do it right."

Tai smirked. He could have never imagined that one day Matt would really want to expose himself like that, for he knew how much he hated it, and he thought that attitude was a very positive sign. But Yamato was a little irritated by Tai's apathetic reaction.

"Ok, you don't have to do it if you don't want..." he began saying angrily, but Tai got up from the chair and took the camera from Matt's hands.

"I'm not sure I can do it right" Tai said analyzing the camera, trying to figure out how it worked.

"It doesn't matter" responded Matt as he took his guitar and stepped on the bed, "just make sure you'll take my best angle!"

They both laughed. For some time, they had fun that way, as Matt posed like a rock star and Tai pictured him; soon, the room was filled with their bright laughter.

An hour later, they both had their bellies aching from laughing. Moments like that were a very rare thing between them, because none of them, specially Taichi, used to easily find something funny enough to make them laugh. They sat on the floor leaning on the side of the bed, analyzing the pictures they had taken, occasionally laughing again.

"This one is the best" said Taichi pointing to one pic in which he'd managed to capture Matt in the middle of a jump.

They laughed a little bit more at the other pictures and then fell silent again. For a few moments, they didn't know what to do.

The camera was lying on the ground next to them, and it suddenly gave Matt an idea. With a quick move, the blond grabbed it and took a picture of Taichi's surprised face.

Tai blinked several times to get rid of the colorful stains the flash had printed in his retina; he then turned irritated to Matt and looked him in the eyes.

"Don't ever do that again." he warned.

"And why not?" Matt contested.

"Because I don't want."

"Don't tell me what I can and what I cannot do." Matt replied rudely. Tachi didn't answer that, he waited until Matt was distracted again by his own pictures and, with an even quicker move, took the picture his friend had taken of him and tore it to pieces.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Yamato also stood up to face his friend. "Don't do that!"

"Don't tell me what I can and what I cannot do." Tai answered promptly, facing Yamato back.

Matt didn't know what to say. For the first time since he'd met Taichi, he felt like punching him right on the face. He curled his hands, struggling to contain himself, but he couldn't help holding Tai's arm violently when he turned around to take his backpack, intending to leave.

Tai tried to get rid of Matt's grab, but the blond was holding too strong. Matt pushed Tai against the wall rudely.

"Why are you doing this?" Tai asked with an annoying calm, looking into Matt's blue eyes.

The blond didn't find the answer. He stared back into Tai's languid eyes and suddenly remembered a certain moment, two years ago at his doorway, at the night he had first tried heroin, and he remembered the feeling of Tai's hand on his own. He softened his grip on Taichi's arm and got closer to him, attaching their bodies to each other.

Tai widened his eyes and held his breath, but soon after, he surrendered to the sensation of having Matt's body close to his, and concluded he actually enjoyed that very much. He felt Matt pressing his body even more tightly against the wall, approaching his face until their noses could touch and their breaths were crossing in the air.

Matt simply did not know why he was doing that, but he couldn't control that impulse. With one hand he held Taichi's waist firmly, and drove the other hand to the brunette's hair, grasping it with a certain violence. Tai closed his eyes and surrendered completely to Matt's touches.

They stayed in that magical stupor for a few seconds, until Yamato approached his face even more to Tai's, binding their lips together. They didn't move at first, they just tasted that new sensation, getting used it for a few moments, but they soon realized that wasn't enough and they needed more. Yamato had the initiative once more, slipping his own tongue into Tai's mouth, exploring it with urgency. There was instantaneous harmony between them, they kissed frantically, clinging to each other as if their lives depended on that, their hands ran down each other's bodies, the touches growing hotter and more intimate.

None of them had imagined something like that when they met earlier at the music shop, but it was certainly better than anything they could have planned. Something in the back of Yamato's mind told him that wasn't right, but he couldn't care less. All he wanted was to enjoy entirely the magic of his very first kiss.

At that moment, they knew it was only the first of many other times like that that were about to come. And they kinda enjoyed it, getting lost in each other that way...

AN: so FINALLY Tai and Matt had their first kiss! HA!

sorry if this chap seemed a little bit hurried, I didn't have much time to work on it but I didn't wanna keep you waiting for too long!

Ah! and don't get too optimistic with the "happy ending" I gave to the chapeter, there's still a lot of drug abuse, cutting and suffering to come next! this is a drama, don't forget that.

Please **REVIEW** and make me happy, so this I'll write more quickly!

Song at the begining: My Little Empire by Manic Street Preachers (you should listen to them, they're awesome!)

See ya next chap! xoxo.


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